Horoscopes Crap

But we all know how everyone love to read them crap, so here's it. found it from a blog... some where. I would like to firstly say that i have no incestuous or bisexual tendencies by the way.

What does your sign say about you?

Gemini: May 20th – June 20th
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for hitting on their siblings.

Cancer: June 21st – July 21st
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a nosy prick. You always keep putting things off. This is why you will always be on welfare, and won't be worth a turd. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

Virgo: August 23rd - September 21st
You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your nit-picking attitude is sickening to your coworkers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep during intercourse. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Aquarius: January 21st – February 19th
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistake repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk. You enjoy getting screwed by large inanimate objects.

Pisces: February 20th – March 19th
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or Aliens. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting what you confuse as power. You lack confidence and you smell funny.

Aries: March 20th – April 18th
You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and scornful of advice. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come into contact with. Basically you are a prick.

Taurus: April 19th – May 19th
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and sick-to-it-ivness because you never do anything right the first time. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothing but an asshole.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 20th
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius. You are indeed a worthless piece of crap.

Libra: September 21st – October 22nd
You are the artistic type and you have a difficult time with reality. If you are a male Libra, you are probably gay. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are sluts. All Libras have one form of veneral disease.

Leo: July 22nd – August 22nd
You consider yourself a born leader. Everyone thinks you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos are thieving deep shits and enjoy masturbating more than sex.

Capricorn: December 21st – January 20th
You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken-shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st
The worst of the lot!!! You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are MURDERERS.